We are watching miracles unfold.
August, 2014
Today our son begins school at an out-of-district day treatment program. Our school district is covering the cost of this private placement.
So many people told me this would not happen.
I was told it wouldn’t happen now.
I was told it wouldn’t happen yet.
I was told it wouldn’t happen this way.
God had other plans.
I Knew It Wouldn’t Work
I believed this change was necessary.
Our son finished the previous school year in a regular classroom. He had not been in a smaller, modified setting. The plan from the district was for him to attend our public middle school.
I knew that wouldn’t work for him.
At the middle school transition meeting the staff assured me it would be fine.
I knew it would be a disaster.
Even our other teens—each of them who currently attend or had attended that school—separately warned me: “Mom, don’t let him go there. He’ll hit someone. He’ll get into fights. He’ll rage if someone bumps him in the hallway. He won’t last a day.”
I would tell them, “I know. You’re right. We’ll find a different way.”
Finding a Different Way
I started making noise.
It wasn’t working at first.
On one of the last days of the school year we received practical advice about advocacy from our younger son Zack’s special education teacher.
She said, “As a teacher, special education advocates make my job hard because they bug me to get things done. As a mom, I have one for my daughter. Get an advocate.”
I began searching for a special education advocate.
I contacted ARC of Colorado but because our son isn’t developmentally delayed, they could not provide an advocate. I reached out to Peak to Peak Parenting, our local parenting group, and they shared a list of options—some free, some paid. I made inquiries.
From the first phone conversation I knew Stephanie was the advocate for us.
This was going to be expensive, but we had to move forward.
I learned our district operates its own day treatment school. Because it was summer and the school wasn’t in session, we couldn’t visit, but I spoke with parents whose children had attended. Their stories were mixed and not especially encouraging.
We got serious about advocating for a different placement that would actually meet our son’s needs.
Finding Options
Before that summer I didn’t realize a district could fund private placement. If the public school cannot provide an appropriate education, the district can pay for services elsewhere (the right phrasing matters in these discussions).
Mike and I researched, visited, and explored several day treatment programs.
I believed the best option might be a trauma-informed residential and day treatment program downtown serving children ages 5–12. We toured the facility. It was over 30 minutes away, closer to an hour in heavy traffic. Our son would ride the bus, and we would need to attend meetings weekly.
There were many pros and cons to weigh.
We were impressed with the therapeutic approach, but it was hard to see extremely challenging behaviors among some of the children. Our son would be exposed to ongoing intense behaviors, which could be retraumatizing.
The therapeutic model was strong. The program drew on neurosequential approaches and offered therapies such as animal-assisted therapy, massage, music therapy, sensory-based interventions, and structured transition time throughout the day.
We met with an administrator from the school district. She was professional, fair, and direct—someone who clearly knows the system. She requested records and factual information.
It was political. The correct language was used. I left unsure of the outcome. An IEP meeting was scheduled for a month later.
At that point three options remained—regular middle school, district day treatment, or private placement.
I believed private placement was the only appropriate choice.
With our advocate we began collecting records, researching, and drafting letters. Stephanie warned that the district would consult lawyers and explore options.
We were within our legal rights to request private placement, but that doesn’t prevent a district from delaying an expensive decision.
This could have moved into mediation or a prolonged IEP process.
We prepared to request home-bound instruction if the matter became stalemated.
I also prepared our son that he might not start school with his siblings. His anxiety rose and behaviors increased. He struggles with uncertainty.
In God’s Time
The morning of the big IEP meeting I received a call from the director of a small day treatment program affiliated with our local mental health center. I had visited previously, but the district had told us it wasn’t an option because of funding sources.
Kate, the director, sounded upbeat and asked, “Shall we get your son registered here?”
I was stunned.
What just happened?
Just hours before the scheduled meeting we learned the district had already decided the previous week to approve private placement for our son.
No one had informed us.
Watching Miracles Unfold
There was no need for a large IEP meeting.
Everything was settled.
Our son would attend a day treatment program just 15 minutes from our home, and the district would pay for it.
God had answered our prayers without a fight.
Stephanie was understandably upset about the district’s handling—they failed to include us as parents in the decision process and dropped the ball on communication.
Still, this felt like a huge, incredible victory.
Is this a perfect school or a flawless situation? No—perfection doesn’t exist.
But this placement is what our son needs right now.
We did it. God did it. We are watching miracles unfold.
Don’t tell me miracles can’t happen.
I simply won’t believe you.
Still Standing
Bible Verse
Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.
Psalm 61:1-3
Journal Prompt
What is a miracle you see God working in your life?
- Still Standing
- What I Saw the Day of the Family Photos
- The Downward Spiral of My Son’s Behavior
- How Do I Talk to My Adopted Kids About Their Birth Family?
- The Day We Told Our Son About His Past
- I Called the Police for My Own Son…and I’m a Good Mom.
- The Worst Father’s Day…but it Wasn’t
- What It’s Like to Take Your Child to the Hospital for Mental Health Care
- What It’s Like When Your Child Needs Inpatient Mental Health Care
- What Visits Are Like When Your Child Gets Inpatient Mental Health Care
- What Life is Like When Your Child Has Mental Health Issues
- When Grief and Hope Come in Waves
- Attachment Therapy: When a New Start is Scary
- When You Beg God for a Miracle
- Tough Vacation Decisions for Kids with Special Needs
- When Kids Take Medication for Behavior
- Water Balloon Therapy
- When You Are Humbled
- He Goes to the Park
- How to Measure Progress in Tough Situations
- When My Adopted Child Cries for His Birth Mom
- The Two Equally Important Jobs of Every Parent
- How to Shift Conversations with Challenging Kids
- What to Do When Your Kids Lie to You
- Dodge and Weave
- When the Life Has Been Sucked Out of You
- Every Test in Your Life Makes You Bitter or Better.
- Mornings, Bedtimes, and Other Routines for Kids with Trauma History
- What Happens to the Sibling of a Special Needs Child
- I’m the Most Stubborn
- Watching Miracles Unfold
- How to Find Peace…When You Don’t Get Your Happy Ending
Resources
ESV Single Column Journaling BibleG.T. Luscombe Company, Inc. Accu-Gel Bible-Hi-Glider Bible Study Set
